How Did I Get Here?

May 29

There are moments when I seem to step outside myself, look at where I am and ask, “How did I get here?”

Sometimes the question comes from wonder. Other times, it comes from confronting a place I never expected—or wanted—to be. Over the years, the question has followed me through airports, meetings, unexpected encounters, difficult consequences and moments with the people who matter most.

An Unexpected Encounter

Several years ago, I attended the Starkey gala in Minneapolis. It was one of those formal evenings filled with performers, athletes, public figures and people accustomed to walking red carpets.

Former President Bill Clinton was seated at the table next to mine. The evening had been carefully organized, and his movements were closely managed by the Secret Service.

As he was being escorted away from the stage, I unexpectedly found myself close enough to shake his hand. He asked where I was from. Instead of giving my usual answer, I reminded him that we had crossed paths while I was involved with work connected to J/P HRO in Haiti following the earthquake.

To my surprise, he appeared to remember the context. We spoke briefly and took a photograph together. The entire interaction lasted only a few moments, but it left me standing there with that familiar question running through my mind: How did I get here?

A Flight I Never Planned

Years earlier, while I was in college, I took a sailing trip along the Baja California coast with my aunt, uncle and their children. The trip offered experiences and lessons that I did not want to leave behind, but Christmas break was ending and I needed to return to school in San Diego.

I was already late.

After arriving at a port near La Paz, I went with my aunt and the children to mail letters home. While speaking with someone at the post office, I explained that I needed to find a way back to San Diego. He mentioned that the Australian ambassador was arriving on a private plane from Tijuana and suggested that I speak with the pilots. It sounded improbable, but I decided to ask.

After the ambassador and his family were taken to their boat, I approached one of the pilots and explained my situation. About thirty minutes later, I was sitting on the ambassador’s plane, eating pretzels and flying back to Tijuana. A journey that could have taken more than a day became a two-hour flight because I was willing to ask a stranger an unlikely question. Once again: How did I get here?

A Difficult Turning Point

In November 2013, the same question carried a very different meaning. As I was being driven to the Washington County jail, I rested my head against the seat and pretended that the situation was not affecting me. Internally, I was overwhelmed.

I thought about the person waiting for me at the airport, wondering why I had not appeared or answered my phone. I thought about the Thanksgiving dinner I would miss, the media attention that would follow and, most painfully, what my family would think.

This time, “How did I get here?” was not an expression of wonder. It was a confrontation with consequences and with the distance between the person I believed myself to be and the circumstances in which I found myself. Some lessons arrive through opportunity. Others arrive through pain.

Right Where I Need to Be

Looking back, I no longer see these experiences as disconnected moments. The unexpected meetings, ambitious risks, mistakes, difficult turns and moments of grace have all contributed to the person I am becoming. I have learned that arriving somewhere does not always mean that I fully understand why I am there. Sometimes understanding comes years later.

Today, when I ask, “How did I get here?” I ask with both gratitude and accountability. I recognize the people who have supported me, the family that continues to ground me and the experiences that have forced me to grow.

My journey has never followed a straight line. But every surprising opportunity, painful lesson and unexpected detour has brought me closer to understanding where I belong and who I want to become.